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JOKES
A farmer walks into the bar
23 Dec 2022
A farmer walks into a bar and the bartender asks him, "How's it going?" The farmer replies, "Not good. I'm having a terrible day. My cow died, my horse ran away, and my dog was hit by a car. On top of all that, my wife is divorcing me." The bartender, feeling sorry for the [...]
Invincible not invulnerable
22 Dec 2022
A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. As he's sitting there, he notices a genie sitting at the end of the bar. The man gets an idea and approaches the genie. "Hey, can you grant me three wishes?" he asks. The genie thinks for a moment and says, "Well, I'm not sure. [...]
Chickens' favorite books
19 Dec 2022
A group of chickens were discussing their favorite books. The first chicken said, "I love 'The Great Gatsby'! The characters are so complex and the writing is so beautiful." The second chicken chimed in, "Oh, I love 'Pride and Prejudice'! The romance is so heartwarming and the dialogue is so witty." The third chicken spoke [...]
Penguin ate a whole whale
19 Dec 2022
A penguin walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks the penguin, "Don't you want to eat something?" The penguin responds, "No thanks, I already ate a whale." The bartender is shocked and asks, "A whale? How did you manage to eat a whole whale?" The penguin replies, "I used a very [...]
Boat Splits in Half
18 Dec 2022
A man and his wife are out sailing on their boat when a huge storm suddenly appears out of nowhere. The wife becomes very frightened and begs her husband to head for shore, but he insists that they can ride out the storm. As the winds grow stronger and the waves get higher, the wife [...]
John and the rude parrot
17 Dec 2022
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and [...]
The Boy and The Berber
17 Dec 2022
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you." The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, [...]
mathew 7 vs 7
19 Nov 2017
A man saw a catholic nun and decided to give her a lift in his car.As the car was moving the man placed his hand on the laps of the nun pretending he was looking for the gear lever.The nun cast a glance at him and said Matthew chapter 7 vs 7".The man quickly removed [...]
A great pair of balls
20 Sep 2017
A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later." The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier?" The nun replied, "He went that way." After the Military Police ran off, the [...]
johnny asks the teacher
10 Sep 2017
johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the [...]
policeman and a farmer
10 Sep 2017
A policeman stops at a ranch in the rural area and talks with an old farmer. He tells the farmer, 'I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs.' The old farmer says, 'Okay, but don't go in that field over there.' The policeman verbally explodes saying, 'Mister, I have the authority of the [...]
before marriage and after marriage
6 Sep 2017
BEFORE MARRIAGE: BOY: I have been waiting for this day GIRL: Do you want me to leave? BOY: No GIRL: Do you love me? BOY: Of course GIRL: Will you ever cheat on me? BOY: Never in my life GIRL: Will you ever kiss me? BOY: Every chance i get GIRL: Will you hit me [...]
Meet uncle waxy
1 Sep 2017
Dear Uncle Waxy; I am a lady aged 26, and my husband is 34. I left my husband with the maid and our baby at home. After driving for just about 2 km from home, my car engine started to over-heat. So I had to return and get the other car. When I got home [...]
Nkaka knows the whole truth
1 Sep 2017
A rich man's son who was classmate to nkaka told him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret & that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." So nkaka decided to go home & try it out. He got home & as he is [...]
Mad man in the hospital
1 Sep 2017
MAD MAN:- Hello doctor, i have got a problem DOCTOR:- What is it? MAD MAN:- Every night i always dream of cows playing soccer! DOCTOR:- Oooh wow, take this pill before you sleep tonight MAD MAN :- Ok doctor, i will start tommorrow, because those cows they're playing finals tonight!
Steven spielberg and a chinese guy
1 Sep 2017
A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbour, get out of here." The [...]
Wife knows the truth
1 Sep 2017
Oneday a woman wanted to know how the husband would react if she left without telling him where she had gone. So she decided to write him a letter saying she is tired of him and didn't want to live with him anymore and after writing she put the letter on the table in the [...]
Little Johnny is forced to pray
27 Aug 2017
Little johnny was Ordered To Pray before they could go to sleep for the Night... Little johnny: I Don't Know How To Pray… Dad: Just Pray For Every Thing You Know about The Family And Our Neighbours. Little johnny: Mummy, Please, Tell Daddy I Can't Pray! Mummy: Shut Up, If You Don't Pray You'll Not [...]
mum and son
28 May 2017
mum: what are you going to do today? johnny: nothing. mum: but you did nothing the whole of yesterday! johnny: i didn't finish
abnormal phenomena
28 Jul 2014
A peculiarly scary thing was happening in a hospital's ICU. Every Sunday, with unfailing regularity, patients on bed number 5 died at 11 AM. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. To investigate the cause of such bizarre incidents, the doctors and nurses decide to [...]
- The little sparrow who learned to fly from a majestic eagle
- Lily Overcomes Her Worst Fears
- The 3 animals and the monster
- The honest Jack
- Lucy the baker
- The Magical Seeds
- The Little Caterpillar
