Get Your Daily Dose of Giggles and Knowledge
JOKES
Page 5
johnny and his teacher
28 Mar 2013
Teacher : Who is the President of Iraq ? Johnny : I don't know Miss Teacher : You need to focus more on yourstudies. Johnny : Please Miss, can I ask a question ? Teacher : Yes. Johnny : Do U know Angela ? Teacher : No, why ? Johnny : You need to focus [...]
thugs on the road
28 Mar 2013
A Traffic cop stops a car. he says to the driver, "Congrats, you have won $2000 for wearing your seat belt and driving nicely, so what are u gonna do with the money? The driver says, " I will buy a driving licence" The lady next to him says, "Dont listen to him officer he [...]
no more school
28 Mar 2013
IN A CLASS... Teacher: Why did u laugh? Boy: I saw strap of u bra! Teacher: Get out, No class for you for a week. (another boy laughs) Teacher: What are u laughng at? Boy: I saw both straps! Teacher: Get out. No class for you for a month. (she bends down to pick a [...]
abraham and isaac
27 Mar 2013
Abraham wants to upgrade his PC to Windows 95. Isaac is doubting this. he says to him, "dad, you can't run Windows 95 on your old, slow 386. Everyone knows that you need at least a fast 486 with a minimum of 16 megs of memory in order to multitask effectively with Windows 95." But [...]
ain't touching it!
27 Mar 2013
Bob goes into the public restroom and sees this guy standing next to the urinal. The guy has no arms. As Bob's standing there, taking care of business, he wonders to himself how the poor wretch is going to take a leak. Bob finishes and starts to leave when the man asks Bob to help [...]
husband or wife?
27 Mar 2013
A nerdy accountant is sent to jail for embezzlement and they put him in a cell with a huge evil looking guy. The big guy says, "I want to have some sex. You wanna be the husband or the wife? The accountant replies, "Well, if I have to be one or the other, I guess [...]
hearing aid
27 Mar 2013
A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much money. "How much do they cost?" he asked the clerk. "That depends," said the salesman. "They run from $2 to $2,000." "Let's see the $2 model," he said. The clerk put the device around the man's neck, "You [...]
do you smoke?
26 Mar 2013
Lady: Do you smoke? Man: Yes Lady: How many packs a day? Man: 3 packs Lady: How much per pack? Man: £10.00 Lady: And how long have you been smoking? Man: 15 years Lady: So 1 pack cost £10.00 and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending each month at £900. In [...]
should i?
26 Mar 2013
Son killed butterfly, dad said " No butter for a month." Son killed honey bee, dad said " No honey for a month" Mom killed cockroach, son said " Dad you'd better tell her or should I?
salary types
26 Mar 2013
TYPES OF SALARY: Onion Salary: You grab it, you open it, and you cry. Storm Salary: You don't know when it's coming or going. Menstrual Salary: It comes once a month and lasts only three days. Magic Salary: You touch it and it disappears. WHICH ONE IS YOURS?
failed approach
26 Mar 2013
MAN IN A MINI BUS WANTED TO IMPRESS FELLOW PASSENGERS WITH HIS PROPOSAL ANTICS, SO HE CHOSE THIS QUIET BEAUTIFUL LADY TWO SEATS BEHIND HIM FOR A TARGET. MAN: Hi there Gorgeous, I bet we have met before. Don't deny it, you have seen this handsome figure before, right? I just can't figure out where. [...]
drunk at the cinema
25 Mar 2013
A drunk guy was with his girlfriend at a cinema and suddenly, he fell asleep. After a while, he woke up and started screaming 'MY PENIS, MY PENIS, MY PENIS'! All the people in the cinema were surprised at the guys behaviour. He continued, 'Where is my penis? Someone has cut my penis and my [...]
won't escape today
23 Mar 2013
patrick was at a Mental Hospital for 7 years and wanted to get out so bad. so he spent 5 months practicing to jump over the gate The day for escape arrived and he gave goodbyes to his friends and vanished after 2 min he came back and his friends asked if he had forgotten [...]
ghost in a taxi
23 Mar 2013
A Taxi Passenger Touched The Driver On The Shoulder To Ask Him a Question. The Driver Screamed, Lost Control Of The Car, Nearly Hit a Bus, Went Up On The Footpath & Stopped Few Centimeters Far From a Shop Window. 4 a Second, Everything Went Quiet In The Cab. Then, The Driver Said: "Look Buddy! [...]
perfect reply
23 Mar 2013
A Soldier Stationed In Iraq Recently Received A Letter From His Girlfriend Back Home. It Read As Follows:Dear Ricky , I Can No Longer Continue Our Relationship . The Distance Between Us Is Just Too Great. I Must Admit That I Have Cheated On You Twice, Since You ’ve Been Gone , And It ’s [...]
smart woman
23 Mar 2013
A WOMAN WAS INTERCEPTED WHILE OVERSPEEDING:Officer 1: Stop the car right there!Woman: What could be the problem sir?Officer 1: You are guilty of overspeeding... can i see your driver's licence? Woman: I dont have it coz i stole this car, shot the owner and dumped his body in the boot of this car.Officer 1 takes [...]
swollen eye
23 Mar 2013
a conversation between two drunk people: drunk 1: why are your eyes swollen? drunk 2: yesterday, as we were in the bank queue, i saw the dress of a certain lady trapped inside her buttocks. so, she hit me hard on my eye when i got it out. drunk 1: damn! .... what about the [...]
- The little sparrow who learned to fly from a majestic eagle
- Lily Overcomes Her Worst Fears
- The 3 animals and the monster
- The honest Jack
- Lucy the baker
- The Magical Seeds
- The Little Caterpillar
