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Mad man in the hospital
1 Sep 2017
MAD MAN:- Hello doctor, i have got a problem DOCTOR:- What is it? MAD MAN:- Every night i always dream of cows playing soccer! DOCTOR:- Oooh wow, take this pill before you sleep tonight MAD MAN :- Ok doctor, i will start tommorrow, because those cows they're playing finals tonight!
Steven spielberg and a chinese guy
1 Sep 2017
A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbour, get out of here." The [...]
Wife knows the truth
1 Sep 2017
Oneday a woman wanted to know how the husband would react if she left without telling him where she had gone. So she decided to write him a letter saying she is tired of him and didn't want to live with him anymore and after writing she put the letter on the table in the [...]
Little Johnny is forced to pray
27 Aug 2017
Little johnny was Ordered To Pray before they could go to sleep for the Night... Little johnny: I Don't Know How To Pray… Dad: Just Pray For Every Thing You Know about The Family And Our Neighbours. Little johnny: Mummy, Please, Tell Daddy I Can't Pray! Mummy: Shut Up, If You Don't Pray You'll Not [...]
mum and son
28 May 2017
mum: what are you going to do today? johnny: nothing. mum: but you did nothing the whole of yesterday! johnny: i didn't finish
abnormal phenomena
28 Jul 2014
A peculiarly scary thing was happening in a hospital's ICU. Every Sunday, with unfailing regularity, patients on bed number 5 died at 11 AM. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. To investigate the cause of such bizarre incidents, the doctors and nurses decide to [...]
Doctor's Scary Answer
28 Jul 2014
Alarmed by the prolonged discussions of his case by a group of doctors by his bedside, a patient said, "There must be something terribly wrong with me." "Why do you say that?" asked the doctor. "All the other doctors seem to disagree with your diagnosis." "Don't you worry." consoled the doctor. "In a similar case [...]
heaven's lie clocks
24 Feb 2014
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your [...]
password reset trouble
17 Feb 2014
"Sorry, your password has been in use for 30 days and has expired - you must register a new one." roses "Sorry, too few characters." pretty roses "Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character." 1 pretty rose "Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces." 1prettyrose "Sorry, you must use at least 10 different characters." [...]
kill a donkey
13 May 2013
Two terrorists having discussion in a bar. A waiter happens to get what the discussion was about and makes an inquiry... Terrorist : We are planning to kill 14 thousand people and a donkey.. Waiter : A donkey....Why a donkey? Then one terrorist says to the other, "See I told you nobody will care about [...]
basic maths
8 May 2013
The school teacher was taking the class in basic maths. She said to little Johnny, "If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many have you got?" "Seven," replied Johnny. "No, Johnny," explained the teacher. "That's not the right answer. Listen. If I give you two apples, then I [...]
puddle's miserable day
6 May 2013
A girl sees three dogs in the park and kneels down to pet them. What's your name? she asks the first. To her surprise, the dog answers "My name's Huey and I'm having a great day going in and out of puddles. She goes up to the second dog and asks "What's your name? The [...]
a snail's plea
6 May 2013
A guy hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up, and no one is there. He looks all around and he finally sees a little snail sitting on the doormat. He picks it up and throws it across the street into a field. Ten years go by, and one day he hears a [...]
...at an exotic pets auction
6 May 2013
During an auction of exotic pets, a woman who had placed a winning bid told the auctioneer, "I'm paying a fortune for that parrot. I hope he talks as well as you say he does" "I guarantee it, madam", replied the auctioneer. "Who do you think was bidding against you?
lion-gorilla drama
6 May 2013
There was a gorilla sitting on a tree by a river, when a lion came by for a cool drink. The gorilla thought to himself, How funny would it be to screw the king of the jungle in the ass? After a moment or two, the gorilla swung into action. He grabbed the lion and [...]
johnny applies for a job
3 May 2013
I refer to the recent death of the accountant at your company and hereby apply for the job as a replacement of the dead accountant. Every time I apply for employment, I get a reply that there is no vacancy but in this case, I caught you red handed and you have no excuse because [...]
johnny spoils a wedding
3 May 2013
On a wedding day, the pastor asked their usual question; "anyone who feels the couple should not be joined in holy matrimony should speak now or forever remain silent" johnny raised his hand from the back, on seeing him the bride fainted and when she was revived, the pastor asked johnny, "why did you raised [...]
a call of nature
30 Apr 2013
I was in the public toilets just the other day. a voice from the next cubicle said, 'Hi, how are you?' Embarrassed, I said, 'am doing fine'. The voice said,'What are you up to? I said, 'just doing the same as you, sitting here!' from next door still, 'can i come over?' Annoyed, i said, [...]
duck punishment
30 Apr 2013
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!" So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, [...]
eat first
26 Apr 2013
Bad Bernie was in prison for seven years. The day he got out, his wife and son were there to pick him up. He came through the gates and got into the car. The only thing he said was, F.F. His wife turned to him and answered, E.F. Out on the highway, he said, F.F. [...]
new man and old nature
26 Apr 2013
A man was taken to court for shoplifting. The man said to the judge, "Your Honor, I'm a Christian. I am a new man. But I have and old nature also. It was not my new man who did wrong. It was my old man" The judge responded, "Since it was the old man that [...]
my grandfather
26 Apr 2013
Fellow 1 : Now my grandfather, knew the exact day and time that he was going to die. Fellow 2 : Wow, that's Incredible. How did he know all of that? Fellow 1 : A judge told him.
johnny's wife
22 Apr 2013
Teacher:What kind of a wife would you like, Johnny? Johnny:I would want a wife like the moon... Teacher:Wow!!What a choice...do you want her to be cool and calm like the moon? Johnny:No,no... Teacher: Oh so you want her to be round and white? Johnny:No,no... Teacher: Oh so you want her to be fair and beautiful [...]
lady vs guy's inbox
22 Apr 2013
A LADY'S INBOX: KEVO: hello, gal i've been trying ur numba but its not goin, i just want to let u know dat i love u.. DAVE: just give me a chance i promise i wont fail u pls.. DENNO: i will be goin clubing do u mind to join me... SONKO: send me ur [...]
joint account
22 Apr 2013
Rasta man goes to the bank with a 25 kg bag of marijuana and hands it over to the cashier. shocked, the cashier asks, "Whats this for?" the Rasta man replies, "Me here to open a "Joint Account"
law vs psychology
21 Apr 2013
A guy asked a girl in a library, "Do you mind if I sit beside you?" The girl answered with a loud voice, "I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!!!" All the students in the library started staring at the guy, and he was embarrassed. After a couple of minutes, the girl walked [...]
you reap what you sow
21 Apr 2013
WOMAN : My Husband is not intrested in sex. DOCTOR : Ok! Give these pills to him Everyday, put 1 pill in his tea. The woman did and they had sex which they enjoyed. Next day she put 2 pills in his tea and they enjoyed much more. 3rd day, she emptied the whole bottle [...]
indeed a bad day
17 Apr 2013
There's this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: Come on man, I was [...]
careful what you bring
17 Apr 2013
There were three men who were lost in the forest. They were then captured by cannibals. The cannibal king then told the prisoners that they could live if they pass the trial. First step of the trial is to go to the forest with the cannibals and get ten pieces of the same kind of [...]
my brother in law
17 Apr 2013
Mr. Smith was brought to Mercy Hospital (a Catholic hospital), and taken quickly in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed. Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine, said the nun, gently patting [...]
- The little sparrow who learned to fly from a majestic eagle
- Lily Overcomes Her Worst Fears
- The 3 animals and the monster
- The honest Jack
- Lucy the baker
- The Magical Seeds
- The Little Caterpillar
